Hey guys,

Sorry that I haven't updated this blog in so long.  As I mentioned in my previous post, I've been busy.

Anyway, I'd like to share something I've been thinking about a lot over the past few weeks.  It has to do with Christian books and articles about singleness, dating, etc. 

Consider this:

Debbie Maken apparently had a hard time meeting responsible, mature Christian men.  Her conclusion: the current rise of singleness is largely due to male immaturity.


Carolyn McCulley wondered why she was still single in her late 30's.  Her conclusion:  singleness is a gift God chooses to give to some people--we have little choice in the matter.

If I understand it correctly, Mark Regnerus married at age 22.  His conclusion: early marriage is the solution to our problems with sexual immorality.

It seems like some authors have a hard time seeing beyond their own personal experience.   I guess all of us do, but special care should be used when you are writing to the masses.

What do you think? 

Weighing in on that Christianity Today article. 

Mark Regnerus recently posted an article in Christianity Today entitled The Case for Early Marriage.  Albert Mohler jumped on the bandwagon and praised Regenerus' work. 

While Regnerus makes some interesting points, I was shocked by this statement:

Evangelicals tend to marry slightly earlier than other Americans, but not by much. Many of them plan to marry in their mid-20s.Yet waiting for sex until then feels far too long to most of them. And I am suggesting that when people wait until their mid-to-late 20s to marry, it is unreasonable to expect them to refrain from sex. It's battling our Creator's reproductive designs (emphasis mine).

As an advocate of sexual purity, I'm appalled.  I'm equally perplexed that Mohler would choose to quote something that directly contradicts the Bible.

Consider Paul's warning against sexual immorality:

It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.
--1st Thessalonians 4:3-8

Apparently what God expects is "unreasonable."

There's a lot more I could say if I had time.  But I'd like to contribute to this discussion by asking three simple questions:

Question 1:  What if this article was written in 1890?

Regnerus noted the tendency to marry older since 1970.  Well, why don't we go back 80 years--the average age of marriage for men was 26.  What if a well-known Christian author/pastor said it wasn't "reasonable" to expect these young men to wait until they were married?  I imagine he'd be labeled as a hedonist and never taken seriously again.

Question 2:  What if we applied that same logic to divorce?

Rengerus follows the above quote with this statement: "Very few wait long for sex."  In other words, since so few are abstinent, it isn't "reasonable" to expect them to be abstinent.  But what about divorce?  We know the divorce rate is high, even among Christians.  Following this same warped logic, you'd end up with a statement like this:

"It isn't reasonable to expect two people to be faithfully committed to each other until death.  The data doesn't lie:  many will end up divorced."

See the problem?  Making assertions based on people's behavior instead of the Scripture is a slippery slope.


Question 3:  Is Anyone Thinking of the Positive Aspects of Marrying Beyond Age 25?

Speaking of divorce, there is a correlation between marital success and marrying beyond the mid-20's.  Consider this data from divorcerate.org:

 Those who marry at 25 and up have a significantly lower divorce rate than those who marry younger.  I'm not saying we should encourage all singles to wait until they are 25, but there does seem to be some advantages to it.  Marrying later does have its problems, but it may be one reason the divorce rate in America is falling.

I hope these three questions will give us some food for thought.

I occasionally read Boundless.org.  I think they produce some good, practical articles for singles.  A few days ago I noticed an article entitled Browsing for a Mate by Candice Watters.  She shared her views on the pluses and minuses of using online dating services.  Reading it brought this question to mind:  are Christian leaders too negative about internet dating? 

Before I go any further, let me say this:  I believe we should encourage caution and discernment when it comes to internet dating (or any kind of dating, for that matter).  I've discussed this in some of my own articles.  But Watters' article seems to take a negative tone:  she mentions a few advantages of online services, but it seems she put a lot more thought into the "minuses" section. 

It isn't the first time I've seen this:  the article on Josh Harris' website has a similar "feel" to it. 

I have a great deal of respect for Candice Watters, Josh Harris, and their respective ministries.  But here are my concerns:

*The before-mentioned articles seem to emphasize the negatives of online dating.  I don't see much about the thousands of people who have successfully found a godly spouse online.


*Some of the disadvantages I've seen discussed are, in my opinioin, not unique to online dating.  I've met plenty of men and women who compromise purity and wisdom in relationships that started through more traditional means. 

*Finally, I don't get the sense that the writers really understand the plight of the "average" Christian single.  Here's what I mean: the single person may find very few marriage prospects in the average church.  Even larger churches may not have much in the way of singles ministry.  The internet may be one of the few places a Christian single can connect with other like-minded singles. 

I'm not on a campaign to get everyone to join an online dating sight.  But I have several friends who are happily married as a result of online dating.  I hope Christian leaders are not too negative about a legitamite means of finding a spouse.

What do you think?

Here is an excellent interview from Boundless.org.   Candice Watters (author of Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help It Happen)  and friends discuss singleness, intentionality in pursuing marriage, and related topics. 

This interview is featured on the first half of each mp3 file.     


http://fotf.cdnetworks.net/boundless/mp3/boundless058.mp3

http://fotf.cdnetworks.net/boundless/mp3/boundless059.mp3

Many Christians meet their spouses by coincidence--they meet at time when they weren't necessarily looking for love (a college class or church event, for example).  

"There are no coincidences in a Christian's life," you may argue.  Fair enough, but I think you understand my point:  some people find their spouse without really looking for him/her.

Such stories are inspiring, and it seems God sometimes goes "out of His way" to make sure two people get together.  But here's the problem:  I think we've created over-spiritualized, unrealistic expectations on how one is to meet his/her spouse.  

Let's take the whole "waiting" idea.  When I talk about "waiting," I'm usually referring to sexual abstinence until marriage.  But it seems many Christian singles think "waiting" means you can't do anything to look for a spouse--you just . . . wait . . . and wait . . . and wait some more.   

I want my readers to consider two things:

1.  God is glorified in Christ-centered marriages, regardless of how the two met.   The real God-glorifying part comes in the way the husband and wife serve each other through marriage.  I'm afraid we get too caught up in stories of how couples met instead of paying attention to how they handled their marriage afterwards.

2.  Taking practical steps to look for a spouse does not make you less spiritual.  I've already talked about this in previous articles.  But the more I talk to Christian singles, the more I feel the need to repeat it.  If you are of age, take advantage of every opportunity to meet Christian singles.  Don't confuse being pure with being passive. 

Related Articles on KuyaKevin.com:

Is it OK to Search for Love?

Singleness and the Sovereignty of God

We talk a lot about relationship issues on this website.  But there's another area where a lot of young singles make big mistakes:  MONEY.

I would highly recommend Dave Ramsey's website (and podcast, and books) to all of my readers.  I wish I had learned and followed his principles back when I was in my 20's.

Here are some themes you'll hear on his show:
*Don't go into debt (except for a house payment). 
*Live on less than what you make.
*Save money, invest wisely, and build wealth.
*Give generously.

Makes sense to me!

I ran across this article a day or two ago on Yahoo.   Here are the seven things:

1. You will look at the person lying next to you and wonder, Is this it? Forever?
2. You'll work harder than you ever imagined.
3. You will sometimes go to bed mad (and maybe even wake up madder).
4. Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together.
5. A great marriage doesn't mean no conflict; it simply means a couple keeps trying to get it right.
6. You'll realize that you can only change yourself.
7. As you face your fears and insecurities, you will find out what you're really made of.

I've never been married, but this list makes sense to me (and it is consistent with what married couples have told me).

Why am I posting this?  Well, I think some singles have unrealistic expectations about marriage.  Instead of seeing it as trading one set of issues for another, some see it as a lifetime of bliss in which the relationship works effortlessly.

Please don't get me wrong--I'm not discouraging marriage.  I simply want our readers to understand the work, sacrifice and committment required to make a lifetime covenant work.

Human beings were designed by God for deep, intimate relationships. God created us to experience that with Him and God also designed us to experience that with other people. Because this need for connection is so fundamental to our design, when it goes unmet for any real length of time, serious consequences usually result. Loneliness - over time - gives way to depression. If a human being's deprivation in this area results in radical isolation, it can even lead to mental breakdown.

Biblically, the pinnacle of our potential for relationship is found in a growing, personal connection to our Creator. But speaking from a more "earthly" standpoint, I think the Biblical evidence indicates that the pinnacle of inter-human relationship is best expressed in an exclusive, sacrificial, and utterly committed relationship between one man and one woman.

Where do I come by such a notion? In the first chapters of Genesis, we see God evaluating the situation of Adam and concluding that it was "not good for him to be alone." The remedy was not a new and different kind of creature or even another male. It was a woman. God's intention for them was to share in the gift of life with one another, to "be fruitful and multiply," and to, "fill the earth and subdue it." Eve, being taken from Adam's side, was not merely a "like creature," but, "bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh." It is only of the relationship between a male and a female that God says, "The two shall no longer be two, but one."

The male/female relationship is unique and stands alone as the strongest experience of connection and fellowship two people can have apart from their relationship to God. Therefore, it stands to reason that singles can easily feel a certain deep dissatisfaction in their experience as singles - as if something fundamental to their design as human beings is lacking.

For all kinds of reasons, the need for this specific kind of relationship may go unmet for unusually long periods in someone's life. It is important for singles to constantly remember that God knows and understands how He designed us and does not take unmet needs fundamental to our design lightly. And, as in all things, His grace provides a buffer for us when these needs go unmet.

One of these "grace buffers" is the provision of same sex friendships between two people of the same station in life, and of the same mind and heart. In scripture, we see this kind of relationship between David and king Saul's son, Jonathan. David and Jonathan were more than "best buddies." Their hearts were knit together in a unique way. They wept together; they watched out for one another. The connection was so strong that David said of Jonathan, "Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women." (2 Samuel 1:26)

Granted, the relationships David might have been referring to were less than exemplary. His marriage to Saul's daughter, Michal, was fraught with tension. She was domineering and treacherous, and scripture indicates that Saul gave her in marriage to David specifically because he knew she would "be a snare to him." His relationship with Bathsheba was based initially on lust and resulted in murder and God's judgment.

But don't let this distract from the greater point - that David found in Jonathan a connection and fellowship that was uncommonly deep and satisfying. I have been fortunate to have several such relationships over the course of my Christian journey, and testify to the power of these friendships in offsetting some of my own unmet God-given desires.

Let me tie this up by offering some insights into finding a Jonathan to walk through your singleness with:

1. Be intentional about finding your Jonathan. David and Jonathan were brought into one another's proximity by God's providence, but the friendship was built. If you notice someone in your life that fits the description of a Jonathan, invest heavily in the relationship.

2. Note that David only had one Jonathan. Singles often try to amass as many friends as possible, and there is nothing wrong with enriching and expanding your social circle. However, this can result in the illusion that quantity equals quality. Don't expect more than one or two Jonathan's in your life at any given time.

3. Make it a matter of prayer. In as much as you pray for a husband or wife, ask God to send a Jonathan while you wait. Be as patient in waiting for them as you are in waiting for your mate. Give God time to bring these people into your circle and give the relationship time to grow. A Jonathan is someone you can be totally vulnerable with and that kind of thing takes some building.

4. BE a Jonathan to someone else. As scripture says, "None of us lives or dies to himself alone." Your Jonathan will most likely be someone in need of a Jonathan themselves. My experience has been that I've most readily found my Jonathan in the process of becoming a Jonathan to that person.

5. Be grateful for your Jonathan. Don't look at them as a second-rate substitute for your mate or as some stand-in for your husband or wife that you can ditch as soon as God answers your prayers for a spouse. Jonathan's are gifts of God's grace and love. Don' treat them casually or cheaply.

See you soon. I'm about to go catch a movie with one of my Jonathan's (Kuya Kevin). I'm thankful to God for you, brother.

I’d like to write about the advantages and disadvantages of being a single guy on the mission field. Much of what I say would also apply to single women, but I’m writing this from my own perspective. I’m hoping to have a post from a single female missionary and see how her thoughts compare to mine. 


ADVANTAGES

Here are some of the advantages of being a single guy on the mission field:

Money

When I first went overseas, I was fully supported by my missionary agency. In other words, I didn’t have to think about money. Salary, insurance, and even housing was fully covered.

Things changed a few years later. I finished my three-year term, but I sensed God wanted me to continue my ministry in the Philippines. There was just one problem—the agency was downsizing personnel in my region. If I were to come back, I’d have to raise my own support and be an independent missionary.

Being single made this decision much easier. Let’s face it—a bachelor can live much more inexpensively than a family. From food to medical insurance, I knew I didn’t have to raise too much money to survive.


Freedom

Once I decided to become a missionary, I simply applied and went. As you can imagine, this is much more simple if you’re single. I didn’t have to consult with my spouse or wait until children finished the school year—I just packed my stuff and hopped on the plane. In other words, singleness offers a great deal of freedom for missionary service.

I live a fairly “domesticated” life—I can walk over to the mall or McDonald’s at any time. Some mission fields, however, are not like mine. I’ve had friends who lived in African mud huts or the jungles of South America. Some of these rugged lifestyles are particularly well suited for single missionaries.

Time

I’ve been able to dedicate a great deal of my time to ministry. Learning the language, for example, took a considerable amount of focused studying. I’m able to pursue virtually any ministry opportunity that the Lord gives me—scheduling is relatively easy when you don’t have a family to consider.

Travel

International travel is no joke. Take my flight from the Philippines to the States. The whole ordeal takes about 24 hours. I pass through about 5 security checkpoints, spend hours in airport lobbies, etc. I can only imagine what it would be like to bring a grumpy toddler along for the ride. Singleness does make such trips a lot easier.

DISADVANTAGES

There are, of course, disadvantages to being single on the mission field. Two come to mind.


Loneliness

Loneliness is, in my opinion, the greatest challenge faced by single missionaries. There’s a certain level of isolation that is unavoidable when you live away from your home. This is especially true when you first move. Unless you already know the language, you won’t understand any of the conversations going on around you—it is a bizarre feeling. Some find this overwhelming to the point of having to go home.

Most single missionaries (yours truly included) are able to compensate by having plenty of friends in his/her adoptive country. Regardless, it still isn’t the same as having a spouse with you—a companion on your missionary journey.

Sexual Temptation

Prostitution is rampant in every Asian country I’ve ever visited. When I went to China, prostitutes called our hotel room every time we (my friend and I) visited a new town. Thailand, Hong Kong, and the Philippines all have similar practices. American men are “targeted” since we have a reputation for being wealthy.

This is something young single men should be aware of if they are considering going overseas. Married men are not immune, but we single guys are especially vulnerable.

With this challenge in mind, I would give a bachelor the following advice if he were thinking about missions:
1. If you don’t have your act together, don’t go. If you haven’t established a pattern of self-discipline in this area, the mission field will destroy you.
2. Make sure you have a support system that will keep you accountable. I’ve benefitted from wonderful mentors and accountability partners—words can hardly express how important this has been.

So there you have it: some of my thoughts about being a single guy on the mission field.

Related Post at KuyaKevin.com:

A Man with Two Homes

My approach to single issues has always been a bit different. I spend a lot of my time seeking to bring singles into balance with their single life...trying to help them avoid the trap of thinking their lives aren't really significant until they find a mate.

Others are doing a great job communicating to singles the more practical issues of wisdom, building character, and preparing for godly union with the opposite sex. My burden has been somewhat different - I want to help Christian singles break free of the painful yearning that invariably leads to a deep dissatisfaction with single life. As I said last time, one need not let go of their desire and hope for marriage to enjoy a very satisfied experience as a single today. And while many singles are satisfied and productive, far too many are not.

In keeping with this, let me share some of the things that have encouraged and stabilized my single life over the years. These are not coping skills. Let me be very clear about that. At the same time, some of these tools may help break the "coping pattern," so that one can live a free, healthy, and satisfying single life right now.

1. Invest yourself in Bible study and prayer. As a single, you probably have significantly fewer distractions and responsibilities competing for your time and attention. Take advantage of that. This bit of advice often gets a big "eye roll" from singles. I cannot express how often I've realized that some of the most special times I've experienced with God are the result of His ability to call me into the place of scripture study and prayer on a moment's notice. As a married person (especially once you have children) you will likely have to make time for God. As a single, you have a surplus of time (comparatively speaking). Invest it in your relationship with God. The expansion of your soul in Christ is the number one way to develop a settled sense of deep contentment as you wait on God for your husband or wife.

2. Develop relationships. Families tend to be somewhat insular. Not isolated, but insular. I knew most of my married friends while they were still single. I would estimate that once they married, my time with them was cut by about 90%. Once they had children, it was cut by about 98%. Some of these relationships are practically "phone" or "email" only relationships today. That is just the nature of putting your family first. Many singles naively think that married life, for them, will not represent a significant encroachment upon their time or prior relationships. It probably will, and there is nothing wrong or abnormal about that. So you want to take time to really invest in your circle of friends right now. Not only will you be grateful for the time you invested in that fellowship later, but deep and open relationships will go a long, long way in keeping you emotionally healthy and balanced as a single.

3. Find ways to serve. Can we be honest for a moment? Single to single here? Much of the dissatisfaction singles experience comes from an unhealthy focus on self. Spending too much time thinking about myself and what I want that I don't have. Service to others will not only bring you closer to God, but it has a dramatic tendency to turn the heart outward. Do not misunderstand me. I am not saying that rational self-interest or personal desires are bad! I am saying that when we dwell too much on unfulfilled desires, it can take a toll on our emotional health. Practical service is a great way to keep our unmet hopes from being too all consuming.

Now, for a couple of tips that aren't so spiritual.

4. Get out of the house! I make it a regular habit to get out and do something, even if its by myself. Some of the best times I've had were the result of spontaneous solo ventures. Road trips. Concerts. Art galleries. Walks in the city. Coffee shops. Even restaurants. I could probably spend the rest of my life alone in a coffee shop, as long as I had some good books and an iPod. There is little more depressing than sitting alone in your house or apartment, watching TV. If this is your primary mode of existence, do not be surprised if much of your time is spent in a pattern of "wishing" for something else.

5. Invest in interests and find new ones. Do you have an interest or a hobby? Take the time to invest in it. Take that spare time to develop a talent or reach a goal. Keep your life in motion. Because I know that things can get old and tired once they are too familiar, be proactive in developing new interests. By looking into the interests of friends, combing local publications for events, and just trying different things out, I have developed numerous interests and pleasures over the last several years that have served to keep life fresh and interesting.

So, some of this might come off as just being kind of trite or consolatory. But I am telling you, if you'll take these things to heart, over time you'll find they go a long way in helping you maintain a sense of wholeness, while helping you avoid falling into patterns of yearning and dissatisfaction.

"The cool side of singleness? Is there any such thing???" In my experience, there most certainly is. I actually believe it is quite readily available for all singles...but, alas, so many singles are in such a state of despair over their singleness that they cannot see it.

Being the inquisitive person I can be, I've conducted highly personal interviews with married friends over the years. Every last one of them has expressed the same sentiment: "Marriage is wonderful. I wouldn't trade it. But do not despise singleness. You give up important things with marriage that you can never get back. Consider those things deeply and make the most of them now."

I like to think of my view of marriage as being a bit on the realistic side. In my mind, marriage is not a "cure" for singleness. I am absolutely positive that it is not a cure for loneliness. The human heart can be lonely in a crowd. Marriage is a trade-off in many ways. We exchange all the problems, pains, joys, and benefits of single life, for the problems, pains, joys, and benefits of married life.

Interestingly, the apostle Paul actually tells us that married life can, in fact, be more burdensome than single life. He says, "Those who marry in this life will have trouble and I am trying to spare you this." I know someone will pounce on me here, but remember - all I did was quote Paul.

So what is my point? To say singleness is BETTER than marriage? Absolutely not!! My point is to remind singles that singleness is not "a state of waiting to find my husband or wife." Sadly, this is exactly what singleness is for so many...even Christians.

Singles should be proactive with their singleness. Singles should ask God what He would seek to accomplish through their singleness. Singleness is an unparalleled opportunity to serve God. Paul also said, "The unmarried person is completely devoted to God, while the married person is divided...part on pleasing God, part on pleasing their spouse."

For example, one friend recounted for me how precious his time with God was in the mornings before he was married. Once marriage came, there was a distraction. Then came the first child. He said, "Boy, I love my family. They are the greatest gift God has ever given me. But I also miss those precious times in the morning with God. Sometimes the responsibility of family just invades that intimacy."

Singles have such an opportunity to seek and serve God without distraction. Without competing responsibilities. If you find your mate, by all means go for it!! But don't get so lost in your dreams for a mate that today's opportunities get lost. Don't get so lost in your desire for a husband or wife that you forget altogether the advantages of your singleness.

One of my greatest burdens for singles in the Body of Christ is to see them let go of the pain and yearning that keeps them in bondage until their wedding day. It need not be that way. It need not. One can find satisfaction in Christ and His call today without necessarily giving up hope for a mate tomorrow. One can always get married tomorrow, but you don't get a "do-over" on your singleness once you've married.

As a 37 year old "never married," the thought crosses my mind more and more frequently - has God ordained singleness for me? Because the possibility definitely exists, I am provoked to ponder the consequences and ramifications on an increasingly regular basis.

In all honesty, it is really a question that all single servants of Jesus Christ need to ask themselves at some point, young or old. There is always the possibility that God's calling on one's life will be enhanced by lifelong singleness. In some instances, the call of God is so radical that lifelong singleness may even be required (see the apostle Paul).

I am not sure that "singleness" is a calling, in and of itself. I am certain, however, that sometimes God's calling includes His request that we remain single (the nature of some work or mission requiring singleness if it is to be maximally effective).

Because the possibility of lifelong (or even long term) singleness seems to be such a devastating thought to so many Christians, we've developed a certain way of thinking about the issue. We have come up with a "solution" to the problem...one that has been widely circulated around the church. It sounds something like this: "If God has ordained singleness for me, the desire for marriage will disappear."

Now, it is not my goal to jerk the rug out from underneath anyone's feet. At the same time, what we must also acknowledge is that this assumption has no Biblical basis. Am I saying that God never tempers that desire in such circumstances? No, I am not. What I am saying is that since we have no Biblical basis for it, it is not safe to make our decisions concerning life altering matters like marriage on speculative notions such as these.

The life of the apostle Paul was one of self-denial and sacrifice. It is clear from his letters that he felt the weight of those sacrifices. In 2 Corinthians Ch. 1, Paul confirms that his sufferings and hardships were sometimes so difficult that they caused him to "despair of life." In speaking of his own romantic life, Paul said, "Do we not have a right to take a believing wife along with us, as the other apostles do? But we did not use this right. On the contrary, we put up with anything rather than hinder the gospel of Christ." (1 Corinthians 9:5-12).

Paul obviously did not think "taking a wife" was a hindrance to the ministry of certain others. He also confirmed that he would have been within his rights to marry. Yet, there was his calling to the gospel that he was determined not to "hinder" by exercising his rights. Nowhere do we ever find that Paul had simply lost the desire to have a mate.

When God calls, we normally accept that His cross will require some painful sacrifices. The forsaking of some dream, or maybe saying goodbye to friends and family. We expect to feel the cross pressing us in those areas. I'm not sure quite where we came by the idea that singleness was somehow different.

I believe that if God's calling results in His asking us to lay down marriage, it will be a painful obedience. However, I also believe that such sacrifice brings a power, a gifting, a vision, and a joy commensurate with the price being paid. When Paul said, "We despaired of life," he also said, "This happened that we might rely on God and not ourselves...on Him we have set our hope." The same Paul who laid down all rights to his life, including the right to marry, knew God more intimately and was used of God more powerfully than perhaps any other human being that has ever lived.

And what was Paul's joy and boast at the close of his life? "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness." (2 Timothy 4:7-8) In other words, Paul faced death without a single regret. He looked forward into eternity with full assurance that he'd paid every price to remain obedient, with full confidence that his, "light and momentary afflictions were achieving an eternal glory that far outweighed them all." (2 Corinthians 4:17)

If you are considering God's will for your life in regard to marriage, may I urge you not to rely on platitudes and assumptions that have little or no Biblical basis. Rather, listen to the Spirit of God and what He is saying to you. If God's calling is unusually sacrificial in nature, be obedient and trust that He is able to repay you infinitely more than you have given up for His name.

Remember the apostles who said, "Lord, we have left everything to follow you." Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age...an in the age to come, eternal life."

Paul wrote of his desperate afflictions for Christ's sake in scripture 2,000 years ago. What do you suppose he is saying now? Is he saying, "Don't throw away your selfish opportunities!! You only have one life to live...make sure to do everything that is in your heart!!" Or do you think he's saying, "Its more glorious than I could have ever imagined. Do all that is in God's heart without fear of loss or regret. He is worth more than a thousand husbands or a thousand wives."

Is it not on the latter that we have placed all our hopes? Trust in God!