Hey guys,
Sorry that I haven't updated this blog in so long. As I mentioned in my previous post, I've been busy.
Consider this:
Debbie Maken apparently had a hard time meeting responsible, mature Christian men. Her conclusion: the current rise of singleness is largely due to male immaturity.
Carolyn McCulley wondered why she was still single in her late 30's. Her conclusion: singleness is a gift God chooses to give to some people--we have little choice in the matter.
If I understand it correctly, Mark Regnerus married at age 22. His conclusion: early marriage is the solution to our problems with sexual immorality.
It seems like some authors have a hard time seeing beyond their own personal experience. I guess all of us do, but special care should be used when you are writing to the masses.
What do you think?
9 comments:
I think people should let their personal experiences be just that: personal experience. What God does in each of our lives individually is not going to be exactly the same for everyone, and we need to respect and celebrate the differences.
I think the church leaders need to start eating some big slices of humble pie and say: I don't know.
While I know that may not be able to soothe the pain of those who are struggling with protracted singleness, and may very well be even more frustrating for those who want a quick answer to why they're single, it's better than giving another 20 step program to get a person married.
LadyElaine,
I agree. One of my own personal "solutions" has been to read a variety of authors and see their thoughts. Too many Christians cling to one author as if he/she is the only one with anything to say.
As for authors having a hard time not seeing beyond their personal experience about singleness, you could also add to that list certain blog writers...
...ones who were ignored by girls in college, concluding: women are just career chasing feminists who don't want or deserve marriage.
...ones whose wives divorced them for any number of reasons, concluding: women are wanton golddiggers, therefore men should just "GTOW".
The reasons for the rise in singleness are complex, with both sexes contributing and being affected in both similar and different ways, so compassion should be extended to both genders. One sided victimology just doesn't wash.
Gortexgrrl,
As with books, part of what I've tried to do is follow blogs with different perspectives and hopefully reach some kind of balance. Have I achieved it? Who knows? :)
Kevin,
Excellent thoughts. Often times, our experiences can override the sound exegesis of the text of scripture. Sometimes just letting the text of scripture speak, rather than reading into the text what we want to see can be one of the hardest things to do. It seems to be an even harder task to change our view of the world so that it comports with scripture. Our experiences play a huge role in that. We always need to remember to allow the scriptures to interpret our experiences, rather than allowing our experiences to interpret scripture.
God Bless,
Adam
I completely agree. Books usually are written from personal perspective. I don't agree with Maken. I see men who are responsible and wonderful. I see some that aren't. I see the same with women. I'm not sure if we just missed our chances or what. I just don't know. I sort of decided to burn my dating books. Unfortunately, the weather has not lent itself to that project. When bonfire season returns, I will celebrate with that.
I agree that people can make incredibly small and short-sighted observations simply from their own experience of things - especially from my point of view - if they were married at 22!
I feel God's been speaking to me recently about the fact that chosen or not by ourselves, "Single" is a status equal to "Married" and one that God honours us with. That means our status in society, in church, and our self-esteem should reflect the fact that we are not in a waiting room - we have been given a job and a status for a period of time - which is completely unknown to us!! I found this very helpful.
My own thoughts really are that I wish we could all chill out about the whole thing - I really think pursuing great and healthy friendships with single Christian's of the opposite sex is very freeing because so often we either stop a friendship developing because we're 'not interested' or find a new friendship curtailed because the other party doesn't want to lead us on... It makes the whole dating scenario incredibly frustrating. How can anything ever develop if we all draw a line 5 minutes after meeting? My prayer at the moment is for good male Christian friends...
Love your posts
www.singlesandmarriedlife.com
Special care should be taken when writing to the masses.
When I write in my blog, I usually write as if I'm talking to myself. Like, trying to talk to myself and teach myself something.
Not as if I know it all, and the readers don't.
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