Human beings were designed by God for deep, intimate relationships. God created us to experience that with Him and God also designed us to experience that with other people. Because this need for connection is so fundamental to our design, when it goes unmet for any real length of time, serious consequences usually result. Loneliness - over time - gives way to depression. If a human being's deprivation in this area results in radical isolation, it can even lead to mental breakdown.

Biblically, the pinnacle of our potential for relationship is found in a growing, personal connection to our Creator. But speaking from a more "earthly" standpoint, I think the Biblical evidence indicates that the pinnacle of inter-human relationship is best expressed in an exclusive, sacrificial, and utterly committed relationship between one man and one woman.

Where do I come by such a notion? In the first chapters of Genesis, we see God evaluating the situation of Adam and concluding that it was "not good for him to be alone." The remedy was not a new and different kind of creature or even another male. It was a woman. God's intention for them was to share in the gift of life with one another, to "be fruitful and multiply," and to, "fill the earth and subdue it." Eve, being taken from Adam's side, was not merely a "like creature," but, "bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh." It is only of the relationship between a male and a female that God says, "The two shall no longer be two, but one."

The male/female relationship is unique and stands alone as the strongest experience of connection and fellowship two people can have apart from their relationship to God. Therefore, it stands to reason that singles can easily feel a certain deep dissatisfaction in their experience as singles - as if something fundamental to their design as human beings is lacking.

For all kinds of reasons, the need for this specific kind of relationship may go unmet for unusually long periods in someone's life. It is important for singles to constantly remember that God knows and understands how He designed us and does not take unmet needs fundamental to our design lightly. And, as in all things, His grace provides a buffer for us when these needs go unmet.

One of these "grace buffers" is the provision of same sex friendships between two people of the same station in life, and of the same mind and heart. In scripture, we see this kind of relationship between David and king Saul's son, Jonathan. David and Jonathan were more than "best buddies." Their hearts were knit together in a unique way. They wept together; they watched out for one another. The connection was so strong that David said of Jonathan, "Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women." (2 Samuel 1:26)

Granted, the relationships David might have been referring to were less than exemplary. His marriage to Saul's daughter, Michal, was fraught with tension. She was domineering and treacherous, and scripture indicates that Saul gave her in marriage to David specifically because he knew she would "be a snare to him." His relationship with Bathsheba was based initially on lust and resulted in murder and God's judgment.

But don't let this distract from the greater point - that David found in Jonathan a connection and fellowship that was uncommonly deep and satisfying. I have been fortunate to have several such relationships over the course of my Christian journey, and testify to the power of these friendships in offsetting some of my own unmet God-given desires.

Let me tie this up by offering some insights into finding a Jonathan to walk through your singleness with:

1. Be intentional about finding your Jonathan. David and Jonathan were brought into one another's proximity by God's providence, but the friendship was built. If you notice someone in your life that fits the description of a Jonathan, invest heavily in the relationship.

2. Note that David only had one Jonathan. Singles often try to amass as many friends as possible, and there is nothing wrong with enriching and expanding your social circle. However, this can result in the illusion that quantity equals quality. Don't expect more than one or two Jonathan's in your life at any given time.

3. Make it a matter of prayer. In as much as you pray for a husband or wife, ask God to send a Jonathan while you wait. Be as patient in waiting for them as you are in waiting for your mate. Give God time to bring these people into your circle and give the relationship time to grow. A Jonathan is someone you can be totally vulnerable with and that kind of thing takes some building.

4. BE a Jonathan to someone else. As scripture says, "None of us lives or dies to himself alone." Your Jonathan will most likely be someone in need of a Jonathan themselves. My experience has been that I've most readily found my Jonathan in the process of becoming a Jonathan to that person.

5. Be grateful for your Jonathan. Don't look at them as a second-rate substitute for your mate or as some stand-in for your husband or wife that you can ditch as soon as God answers your prayers for a spouse. Jonathan's are gifts of God's grace and love. Don' treat them casually or cheaply.

See you soon. I'm about to go catch a movie with one of my Jonathan's (Kuya Kevin). I'm thankful to God for you, brother.