"The cool side of singleness? Is there any such thing???" In my experience, there most certainly is. I actually believe it is quite readily available for all singles...but, alas, so many singles are in such a state of despair over their singleness that they cannot see it.

Being the inquisitive person I can be, I've conducted highly personal interviews with married friends over the years. Every last one of them has expressed the same sentiment: "Marriage is wonderful. I wouldn't trade it. But do not despise singleness. You give up important things with marriage that you can never get back. Consider those things deeply and make the most of them now."

I like to think of my view of marriage as being a bit on the realistic side. In my mind, marriage is not a "cure" for singleness. I am absolutely positive that it is not a cure for loneliness. The human heart can be lonely in a crowd. Marriage is a trade-off in many ways. We exchange all the problems, pains, joys, and benefits of single life, for the problems, pains, joys, and benefits of married life.

Interestingly, the apostle Paul actually tells us that married life can, in fact, be more burdensome than single life. He says, "Those who marry in this life will have trouble and I am trying to spare you this." I know someone will pounce on me here, but remember - all I did was quote Paul.

So what is my point? To say singleness is BETTER than marriage? Absolutely not!! My point is to remind singles that singleness is not "a state of waiting to find my husband or wife." Sadly, this is exactly what singleness is for so many...even Christians.

Singles should be proactive with their singleness. Singles should ask God what He would seek to accomplish through their singleness. Singleness is an unparalleled opportunity to serve God. Paul also said, "The unmarried person is completely devoted to God, while the married person is divided...part on pleasing God, part on pleasing their spouse."

For example, one friend recounted for me how precious his time with God was in the mornings before he was married. Once marriage came, there was a distraction. Then came the first child. He said, "Boy, I love my family. They are the greatest gift God has ever given me. But I also miss those precious times in the morning with God. Sometimes the responsibility of family just invades that intimacy."

Singles have such an opportunity to seek and serve God without distraction. Without competing responsibilities. If you find your mate, by all means go for it!! But don't get so lost in your dreams for a mate that today's opportunities get lost. Don't get so lost in your desire for a husband or wife that you forget altogether the advantages of your singleness.

One of my greatest burdens for singles in the Body of Christ is to see them let go of the pain and yearning that keeps them in bondage until their wedding day. It need not be that way. It need not. One can find satisfaction in Christ and His call today without necessarily giving up hope for a mate tomorrow. One can always get married tomorrow, but you don't get a "do-over" on your singleness once you've married.